Be BOLD!

Now you know I do not ask for much, faithful (or unfaithful) reader. Today I am asking for 2 minutes of your time that I know can make a huge difference!

Thanks to initial and very exciting enthusiasm, BOLD has quickly risen to become one of the top contenders for this week's finalist spots on ideablob's $10,000 contest! However, the last 36 hours will be the most intense. It isn't too late to log on to ideablob.com Registration is easy. It will take a minute. Don't tell me you don't have a minute. I am not the annoying guy on the corner asking if you have a minute for our earth, oh, and by the way, did you bring your checkbook? We just want your vote to support BOLD's quest for the March ideablob award!

As you may know BOLD is an organization that uses the arts to inspire social action, including supporting local communities for the last 2 years without asking for any financial contributions from our participants. I am the Performance and Talkback Coordinator for this fine, fine organization which has about 5 cents to it's name. With your vote that can change!

So, here are two simple things you can do to help:

The ideablob.com contest is very democratic. The 2 ideas with the most votes by midnight on Friday, March 14 will become finalists in this month's contest, which will have it's final sprint from March 22-31.

Thank you! You rock!

A Perfect Ten

I may not be perfect but these are the things that are perfect to me.

Hot, strong coffee in the early morning hours while my children are still snoring away.

The smell of Mrs. Meyers Lavender hand soap (or any other of her lavender products.)

The feeling of crossing the finish line, no matter how long it took.

My husband nicknaming me "almost," him being totally right, and both of us being able to laugh at me. I'll finish something I start soon, I swear...

My daughter Violet, who at 4 1/2 has the most amazing memory and is clearly one of the smartest people I know. You cannot fool this one. She has ruined my ability to sneak clothing purchases past my husband, as every time I wear something new she'll say, " That's a nice new sweater, mommy. When did you get it?"

My daughter Edie, almost 3 and still goofy and sweet as ever. Before she turned 2 she made up her own dance entitled "Wiggle Your Body as Fast as You Can. And Turn. And Turn."

The truffle pizza at Apizza Scholls. I ate it once many months ago and can still conger up the taste and smell. Yum. Let's go. Now. Yes, I know it's 5am.

A brand new baby with a perfect latch. One of natures true wondrous miracles. Form, function, beauty, love, all rolled into one.

Climbing into my big, comfy bed after a long exhausting birth, knowing I did good and happy to be home.

Knowing, deep, deep knowing that you love and are loved in the most perfect way possible.

I Know Where I Am...But Where Am I Going?

So you know you are doing a good thing when an old client calls you and asks to meet up for a few minutes just to give you a hug.

This woman didn't have the greatest birth imaginable in terms of outcome. However, she was well supported by her OB, her husband and me, her doula, and I know that made all the difference for her. I talk about this all the time with expectant mamas. It's not only what happens but how it happens. If you are an active participant, if your voice is heard, if you really, truly understand informed consent, then I guarantee you will walk away feeling proud.

I have been toiling/toying for the last few months with the idea of going back to school, yet again. And yes, I realize I am in many, many thousands of dollars in debt from by undergrad and my almost-finished-but-not-quite MA in English Literature. Please do not rub it in. Sallie Mae and my mother do a fine enough job, thank you. I have been looking into Berkley, among other places, for the Masters in Public Health (MPH) program with a focus on Maternal-child health. The main obstacle is: will there be a job on the other side? I want to be able to work to create change that will positively impact the state of childbirth in America. The people with money are on the other side of the coin. So unless I want to fund raise and create my own foundation, I am not sure if it is worth it. I have been really wanting to get involved on more of an activist level, but I am not really sure what the next step is. I see myself as having the capacity to be a public voice for childbirthing rights. I am just not sure how to get there.

In the meantime, I will just continue on, supporting women and families and promoting normal birth wherever and whenever I can.

Two for the road

After a 5 month lapse (I cannot believe that it really was that long) I attended 2 births in 48 hours. One was amazing, the other frustrating though ultimately positive, both keen reminders of why I do what I do.

I am way too tired to say another word.

What I don't know

It's been really hard for me to write because it's been a really hard time for me professionally. I used to think of myself as really impartial, a doula who could happily support any woman's birth choices regardless of whether that is what I would choose. I am finding that harder and harder to do. In my years of doing this work I have maintained an 85% hire rate; most of the families I met with hired me. Lately it's been more like 50%. I don't think it's because there are so many great doulas to choose from, though that is definitely true. I think I am having a harder and harder time presenting myself as neutral. I don't think it doesn't really matter what happens in your birth as long as everyone is healthy. I know that many other things matter. I know that an empowering birth is an opportunity of a lifetime, an experience that gives a woman confidence for all of her future undertakings. I don't think that when a woman in labor enters the hospital her chances of having a normal birth are good. I know that 35% of the time the baby will be surgically removed, and if that doesn't happen, she will likely have a host of plugs and cords and devices attached to her that even if she still manages to eke out a "natural" birth, she will never really know what a normal birth is.

More and more as I try to envision what my place is in this life, I think I have to be an advocate for normal birth. I am not sure where that starts. I used to think it started with my doula clients, but now I am not so sure.

"I'll take Potpurri for $200, Alex."

A few unrelated thoughts.

Taking the advice of a good doula friend, when I got my tattoo I totally "doulad" myself through the whole thing. It was very Penny Simkin-esque. I was awash in rhythm, ritual and to whatever extent I could, rocking. It was very interesting, actually. I was tapping my foot the whole time to the beat of my breath, in two three four, out two three four. I was a big foot tapper in my births as well. When I do prenatals with my clients we always talk about reactions to stress and coping mechanisms. I guess however you are in life is how you are in birth. Or vise versa.

I need a life doula for tomorrow. I have a root canal. Childbirth, no problem. Dental work, whole different ball game.

I have met with some really amazing women lately. I always feel so honored when I get hired, so grateful to be able to share in this amazing time in a family's life.

Listen to WFUV online, Fordam U's really cool radio station.

Childbirth and the Magic Pebble

What is it about east-coasters that make us find one another wherever we are?

Two weeks ago I took this childbirth educator workshop up at OHSU in Portland. One of the trainers is originally from New Jersey, which is really Brooklyn only with more malls and trees. Wouldn't you know it, we hit it off right away. I ended up missing a day of the training because I was at a birth, so this trainer graciously offered to give me a private class to fill me in on all that I missed.

What I walked away from the meeting with is this: I should probably teach in a hospital.

I always envisioned myself teaching out of my house, and truthfully, I probably will. But that's not where my greatest impact can or will be. Most of the people who would take my out-of-hospital class will probably have out-of-hospital births, which means that many of the things about intervention and so on will most likely not apply. The majority of women in the united states are having their babies in hospitals. They deserve a great education by great teachers who are passionate about birth. Educators who believe in their hearts and bodies that birth is normal. Educators that know that women were designed to birth their babies and that they innately possess the knowledge and power to do so.

Do I wish that more babies in the US were delivered by midwives? Absolutely.
Do I think home birth is a safe, wonderful option and should be more widely accepted by the medical community? You betcha.

But like with any other social change, the scales tip one pebble at a time. If I can impact one woman by equipping her with the tools she needs to have a safe, powerful, ecstatic birth, no matter where it will take place, it's a good day.