A while ago I was speculating that my bad attitude was costing me jobs. I was feeling really cranky about the whole birth thing, after a year of seeing a whole host of things that left me feeling disenfranchised, to say the least. I have always had a really good interview/hire rate, but towards the end of the year I lost a few jobs to what I am sure was my inability to remain neutral.
Now it's 2008 and I have gotten the green light from all four of the families I have interviewed with. It's not the income that makes me happy but the realization that I am coming across as potentially really good labor support, which I know I am;-) Two of those interviews I was accompanied by one of my partners, M, who is totally different from me but amazing and wonderful just the same. She is what you would think of as a doula: long, flowy hair, no makeup but naturally so pretty, always a hugger and a source of positivity. I am more the doula anti-christ: mascara, lip liner, blond highlights, acerbic and honest. True, I am a home-birther on the inside; I just don't look like it on the outside. But believe you me, I love what I do and I feel strongly that it is what I was meant to do.
There is a mom at my kidlets preschool who is about 100x fancier than me. I like nice clothes but I am usually parading my sweaty ass around town in workout gear. She always looks perfect. Always full makeup, always a complete outfit (including high heels) and a matching handbag. One day her and I and another mom were sitting in the schmoozing area after drop-off (come on, it's a Jewish preschool!) and the subject of vaccinations came up. I am always hesitant to talk about these things with people I don't know very well, especially in a school setting. All of a sudden fancy mom started telling me about her 2 home births and how her mom is a home birth midwife! See, see, you never know. Lesson learned.
I digress, I know. When I was in high school I had an English teacher who told me I was smart but I had too many ideas and my writing wasn't focused. He was right. But then again, he taught a class where our "big" assignment was to interpret the lyrics to our favorite song. Wanna guess what I chose? Think black eyeliner and hair in the 80's.
At least it wasn't "Pour Some Sugar on Me."
The moral of the story is I feel really happy right not and it is being reflected back to me by the clients I am working with. So there!
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7 comments:
I love, love, love the song Pictures of you! I am an 80's junkie too. Aaaah, the memories. Jen T.
I love that song so, still remember all the lyrics. My other favorite is Depeche Mode's SOmebody, which a high school boyfriend wrote all the lyrics on nice stationary and sent it to me in the mail. I loved him, whatever his name was:)
Randiedoula, I don't look the homebirth part either. I shave, sometimes even ingest high fructose corn syrup and have spent a fair amount of time pulling strands of gray hair out of my head. :)
First of all Tina, that you read my blog brings me infinite joy.
Second, I see you read Monique and The Mango Rains- I absolutely adored that book. I started a birth book group here in Portland and that was one of the titles (as was yours) that I selected for the group, which incidentally, has yet to pull it together. I was in tears when it ended, sad that it was over, sad her life was over, sad for what they have and we don't, and what we have and they don't.
Third, I would happily pluck a grey hair however my new problem seems to be them coming out all by their lonesome.
Randie
Randie, I also love that DM song. You and I need to get together and listen to our old music. I wish I would have known you six years ago, I threw an 80's party for my husband's 30th and it was RAD, and fabulous too. We had so much fun. Jen T. (I'm anonymous because I can't remember my password - gripe!)
I didn't know what the lyrics to Pur Some Sugar on Me meant until like the year before last, but I didn't know that people weren't into hearing the bitter truth from their doulas either, so what do I know. I just know that you do both in the name of love.
What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.I have liked your blog. I will come again to your site. Keep it up!
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